"What Do You Say to Yourself After Someone Criticizes You? Imagine that someone criticizes you. Then imagine yourself feeling joyful about this wonderful opportunity to learn something positive from the criticism. Imagine that you love to hear feedback about what you've said and done or didn't say and do. Positive feedback means that you are on track. Critical feedback means that you can now improve and develop yourself. Imagine that your self-talk sounds like, 'I appreciate and am grateful for this wonderful opportunity to become better. I am grateful to this person for telling me something that will be beneficial for me.' If you actually respond to criticism this way, congratulations! It shows that you have integrated one of the elevated qualities listed in the 48 factors to acquire Torah. If you are like most people, however, you don't think of critical feedback as one of your greatest pleasures in life. But if you have the inner strength, courage, and honesty to be open to hearing criticism, you will grow more in life. So what can you say to yourself if you have not yet mastered the ability to love criticism? One possibility is: 'My goal is to constantly grow and develop myself [Evolve into my best self]. I love positive feedback. But I can grow from critical feedback. So I will increase my inner strength, courage, and honesty to be open to hear what people say, and to weigh what they say objectively.' You don't have to feel bad about yourself because someone gave you critical feedback. [We are all growing as people and because of this criticism you are now in a position to be better tomorrow than you are today and were yesterday.] "
Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
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