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  Quotations - Gratitude  
[Quote No.59521] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Gratitude [that things are not worse] is the fundamental attribute that is a foundation of being happy throughout our lives." - Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
From his book: 'THANK YOU! Gratitude: Formulas, Stories, and Insights'.
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[Quote No.59543] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"What Am I Grateful For Right Now? -- A student told me that his father had a habit that used to annoy him. It was a minor habit, but he found it irritating. His father would frequently say, 'You know' when he spoke. As politely and respectfully as he could, he had pointed this out to his father. His father told him that he wasn't aware of this, and he would try to avoid it. But this habit was so entrenched that it wasn't so easy to just stop saying, 'You know.' As his father would say, 'You know, everyone has such habits.' I suggested to the son that when his father said, 'You know,' he should think to himself, 'What am I grateful for right now?' Let the habit of his father create the habit in his own mind of asking this gratitude enhancing question. The son reported to me, 'First of all, I have a tremendous amount of things to be grateful for about my father. In a short time, my mind would think of, 'What are you grateful for right now?' whenever I heard anyone say, 'You know.' Now I am even grateful that my father says, 'You know,' since it has made me a much more grateful person. [Train yourself into the habit to use anything, for example being annoyed, delayed, frustrated, defeated, etc., to make you think to yourself, 'What am I grateful for right now?' and thereby turn a negative feeling into a positive feeling, and become more grateful and happier.]" - Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
Quote from his book, 'THANK YOU! Gratitude: Formulas, Stories, and Insights'.
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[Quote No.59572] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Don't Take Things For Granted: A key element in why it's easy to lack gratitude is because human nature is to take things for granted when we get used to having them. To master gratitude we need to stop taking things for granted and to increase our thoughts of appreciation. ... As an exercise, choose a day to not take anything for granted. Look at everything as if it were new. Look at everything as if this were the first time that this positive thing was happening. Look at all that you own as if you just bought or received them today. Look at what you have as if it were invented recently and you are one of the first people on the planet to get it. Hopefully this exercise will give you the experience of what it's like to not take things for granted." - Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
From his book, 'THANK YOU! Gratitude: Formulas, Stories, and Insights'.
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[Quote No.59579] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"[How to appreciate your life and be grateful and happy:] Getting Perspective On Life: The Trick to Seeing Your Own Life With New Eyes: In the book, 'Adrift: Seventy-six Days Lost at Sea', Steven Callahan recounts his harrowing experience alone on a life raft. He lost 45 pounds during the trip and went through an amazing amount of deprivation and suffering. His description of what it was like to be back on land gives you a new appreciation for what we all take for granted. Why would his account give us a new appreciation? Because taking something away for awhile allows you to compare the circumstances you are accustomed to with something worse. And what you compare your life to determines how happy you are at the moment. One of the reasons people go on fasts is that food is so amazingly delicious after fasting. Eating is almost like a religious experience. Why? Because eating is wonderful compared with not eating. When Callahan was found offshore by three fisherman, they took him to their island in the Caribbean. Once ashore, they drove him in a Volkswagen bus to a hospital in another town. On the way there, Callahan was overwhelmed with the colors and the sounds and the aromas. While he was adrift on the ocean, he was surrounded for more than two months by nothing but blue sky and blue sea. He smelled nothing but the ocean and fish. Read his brief account of the car ride: 'We pass long stretches of sugar cane fields. Ox carts are piled high with cut cane. I cannot believe how sensitive I am to the smells of the cut vegetation, of the flowers, of the bus. It is as if my nerve endings are plugged into an amplifier. The green fields, the pink and orange roadside flowers, practically vibrate with color. I am awash in stimuli.' The contrast between his previous situation and life on land was dramatic. He appreciated colors and smells we all take for granted every day. Why do we take them for granted? Because they've always been there. We haven't compared their presence with their absence. During his voyage on the life raft, Callahan was often soaked in salt water for long periods of time. So it was especially pleasurable to simply be dry. When he got to the hospital, they cleaned him up and put him to bed. His description is ecstatic. Why? Because of the comparison between a cold, wet, abrasive, salt-encrusted life raft and an ordinary bed: 'I lay back on the sheets, clean sheets, dry sheets. I can't remember ever feeling like this before, though I imagine that I might have felt this way at birth. I am as helpless as a baby, and each sensation is so strong that it's like seeing, smelling, and touching for the very first time.' Comparisons. Your mind makes them all the time. And whether you feel contentment [and gratitude] or dissatisfaction [and bitterness] largely depends on what you are comparing your life to. One of the barriers to contentment is that advertisers are constantly giving us perfect images to compare ourselves with - people with perfect homes and cars and spouses and children - and they give us the illusion that this perfection is somehow possible. The advertisers are taking advantage of the way our minds work naturally. You automatically and naturally compare yourself and your life with others' and with your own ideals and aspirations. When you compare your life to something worse, you feel more satisfaction [and gratitude]. When you compare it to something better, you feel dissatisfaction and desire - feelings that may help an advertiser sell products, but feelings that ruin your good mood. Although the process of comparison happens without your active effort, you can assume control of it. Like your own own breathing, it happens on its own, but you can make it do what you want at any time. All you have to do is pay attention to it. Why would you want to bother? Because, as Robin Lloyd put it after looking at the research: 'People who positively evaluate their well-being on average have stronger immune systems, are better citizens at work, earn more income, have better marriages, are more sociable, and cope better with difficulties.' It makes a difference to feel some contentment [and gratitude]. It's good for you mood. And luckily, it can be accomplished pretty easily. It won't last for a long time, but neither does sleeping or exercising. The fact that it doesn't last is no reason to dismiss it. If you're willing to put out a little effort, you can feel satisfied with [and grateful for] your life a lot more often. Here's what to do: When you feel discontented, ask yourself, What could be worse? And really try to think of something specific. You can always think of something, and it's usually pretty easy. If you feel unhappy because you haven't advanced in your job as fast as you'd hoped, for example, imagine how you'd feel if you lived in a country or a time when advancement wasn't possible. Imagine being an untouchable in India 500 years ago, sentenced to generation after generation of poverty with no chance of escape. Or imagine being born into a North Korean prison and living there your whole life. Imagine real situations other human beings have experienced that are much worse than anything you've ever had to endure. Try this technique [of reframing and re-comparing your thoughts] and you'll recognize that in many ways it is a fact that you're lucky to be where you are and who you are. That lucky feeling can put you instantly in a good mood. It's relaxing and peaceful. It won't last very long, but you can always do it again. The technique works every time and it never wears out. In a way, it is a good thing the feeling doesn't last because as wonderful as contentment is, motivation is also wonderful. Striving for a goal - physical fitness, self-improvement, financial success, whatever - is practical and worthwhile also. But when you want to feel some contentment [grateful and happy], take a little time and think about how your situation could be worse, or how it used to be worse, or think about what others have gone through. To help you find some real situations you can compare your own life with, read books like 'Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Voyage', 'The Long Walk: The True Story of a Trek to Freedom', and 'Alive'. Their difficulties will help you see your own life with new eyes." - Adam Khan
Excerpted from his book, 'Viewfinder: How to Change the Way You Look at Things'. [Refer http://www.moodraiser.com/2014/07/getting-perspective-on-life-see-your.html ]
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[Quote No.59726] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Happiness is an attitude of [gratitude that things are not worse, held in] mind, born of the simple determination to be happy under all outward circumstances." - Donald Walters

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[Quote No.59748] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"When life's problems seem overwhelming, look around and see what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself fortunate [and grateful that your life isn't worse]!" - Ann Landers

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[Quote No.59751] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"We're brought up, unfortunately, to think that nobody should make mistakes. Most children get de-geniused by the love and fear of their parents - that they might make a mistake. But all my advances were made by mistakes [that I am grateful for because they allowed me to learn something helpful]." - Buckminster Fuller

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[Quote No.59798] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"For the Rest of Your Life: I met an elderly person who lived alone and had many physical problems and financial challenges. Yet this person was highly upbeat and happy. I wondered how he was able to experience such positive emotions with the difficulties he faced. I asked him about his life experiences and what were the most important lessons he learned about life that I could share with others. A key point that he told me was, 'When something goes well for you, be grateful for it for the rest of your life. I had a happy childhood. My childhood was happy no matter what else happened to me later on. For my entire life I can be grateful for the many things I enjoyed when I was growing up. I can be grateful for all the positive memories my late wife gave me. I can be grateful for the good things that people did for me throughout my life. Some of the people I am grateful towards are no longer alive. But my feelings of gratitude towards them remain.' 'But isn't it difficult to keep on feeling grateful for what is no longer here?' I asked him. 'No. Once this becomes your habitual way of thinking it's automatic. It's not hard at all. I've met people who are angry and resentful towards people who are no longer alive. It makes a lot more sense to keep up the positive quality of being grateful.'" - Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
From his book, 'THANK YOU! Gratitude: Formulas, Stories, and Insights'.
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[Quote No.59813] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"An Hour of Gratitude: There is a powerful exercise that will greatly help you upgrade your level of gratitude. Designate an hour a day to be your hour of gratitude. During this hour keep your focus on gratitude. Isn't an hour a long time to do this? Yes, it is. When you actually do this exercise for a month, you will find the benefits so great that you will make the effort to keep it up for an hour a day tremendously worthwhile. And what about spending an hour a day focusing and thinking about what you don't like, what you are unhappy about, what you are resentful about, what you are envious of, what you find frustrating, what's not happening that you want to happen, what might go wrong in the future (also known as worrying), what has already gone wrong in the past. Isn't an hour a long time to spend on thinking these thoughts? Yes, it is. And many people would find it a great blessing to only think these thoughts for just one hour a day and the rest of the day to think more pleasant and enjoyable and beneficial and growth-oriented thoughts. Making a resolution to designate an hour a day reserved for thoughts of gratitude will make it easier for you to overcome a tendency to think thoughts that create stress and distress. 'But I don't have that many things to be grateful for,' some people might argue. 'You would be surprised!' is the answer. Try it out and you will find that you have much more to be grateful for than you usually are aware of. If you go to a store to buy something, be grateful that the store is there. Be grateful that you have the money to buy what you want to buy, or that someone is willing to lend you the money, or that a store is willing to give you credit. If you meet someone you know, be grateful that you have people who are friendly towards you. If the telephone rings, be grateful that you can hear. If you see anything, be grateful that you can see. If you have food to eat, be grateful for that food. If you read something, be grateful that your brain is functioning and you know how to read. If you smile to yourself in a mirror, be grateful that you have the positive feedback that will help you master positive states. If you begin to feel irritated or upset over something and remember that this is your hour of gratitude, be grateful that your memory is working and that you have things to be grateful for and that you can access a gratitude state rather than an unpleasant one. If someone else needlessly makes a negative comment, you can say, 'This is my hour of gratitude, and I would be very grateful to you if you could point out some things we can be grateful for during this hour.' " - Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
Quote from his book, 'THANK YOU! Gratitude: Formulas, Stories, and Insights'.
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[Quote No.59839] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"7 Ways To Develop An Attitude Of Gratitude And Improve Your Life: It's amazing how some simple, easy, positive actions can improve life. Saying 'Thank You' and being grateful are two examples that have enormous power. In fact, they have the power to change your life in the most profound way. My wife taught me to be grateful beginning on the first date we had. We went to restaurant and before we began to eat she asked me to pause because she wanted to say Grace. I had never done this before at any meal other than one on a religious holiday. She told me that she did it before every meal, and we've said grace before very meal since. I am so grateful to her! Being more grateful has affected everything in my life. I'm more appreciative and positive. I'm a better husband, father, son, brother, and friend. I'm a happier and better person, I believe. I believe being more grateful can improve anyone's life. You won't get the exact same benefits as I have; you'll get yours, some will be like mine, and some will be unique to you. If this is an improvement you'd like to have in your life, here are some ways you can begin to do it: ---1. Create a morning gratitude session. Take a minute in the morning each morning to think of the people who have done something nice for you, to think things in your life you're grateful for. This will immediately help you start your day off right. ---2. Make a gratitude list. We all have difficult days. Days we feel stressed out. When we lose a loved one. When we feel disappointed or low. One of the things that can help you feel much better is making a list of all the things you're thankful for. There are always things to be thankful for; health, loved ones, health, having a job, having a roof over your head and clothes on your back, and being alive. ---3. Instead of being angry, show gratitude. That's a major switching of attitudes, which isn't easy to do. If you are angry with a co-worker or your spouse, for example, because of something he or she did ... take a breath and don't react in anger. Instead, calm down, and think of reasons you're grateful for that person. What has that person done that is nice for you? Find something, anything, even if it's difficult [perhaps even only that it could have been worse but wasn't]. Focus on those things that make you grateful. It will slowly change your mood. ---4. Instead of complaining about your children, be grateful for them. Many parents get frustrated with their children. They are too slow to do things, they have a bad attitude, they can't clean up after themselves. Unfortunately, sometimes parents will communicate that frustration to their children too often, and the kids will begin to feel bad about themselves. Many parents have done this, and while it's not perfect, it's a part of parenthood. But there's a better way: follow the method above of calming down when you're frustrated, and thinking of reasons you're grateful to your child. Share these reasons with your child. And then take the opportunity to teach them, instead of criticizing them. ---5. When you face a major challenge, be grateful for it. Many people will see something difficult as a bad thing. If something goes wrong, it's a reason to complain. That won't get you anywhere. Instead, learn to be grateful for the challenge; it's an opportunity to grow, to learn, to get better at something. This will transform you from a complainer into a positive person who only continues to improve. People will like you better and you'll improve your career. ---6. When you suffer a tragedy, be grateful for the life you still have. I've recently lost a very close friend. Tragedies can be crippling if you let them overcome you. I'm not saying 'Don't grieve', I'm saying, 'You can also take away something even greater from these tragedies: gratitude for the life you still have. Appreciation for the fleeting beauty of life itself. Love for the people who are still in your life.' Take this opportunity to show appreciation to these people, and to enjoy life while you can. ---7. Instead of focusing on what you don't have, look at what you do have. Have you ever looked around you and bemoaned how little you have? How the place you live isn't your dream house, or the car you drive isn't as nice as you'd like, or your peers have cooler gadgets or better jobs? If so, that's an opportunity to be grateful for what you already have. It's easy to forget that there are billions of people worse off than you, who don't have much in the way of shelter or clothes, who don't own a car and never will, who don't own a gadget or even know what one is, who don't have a job at all or only have very menial, miserable jobs in sweatshop conditions. Compare your life to these people's lives, and be grateful for the life you have. And realize that it's already more than enough [to be joyous and grateful], that happiness is not a destination — it's already here." - Joel Simms
[http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/7-ways-to-develop-an-attitude-of-gratitude-and-improve-your-life ]
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[Quote No.59902] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"...a truly noble and resolved spirit appears greatest in [how well they handle disappointment and] distress [for example by being grateful for small things and that things are not worse], and then becomes more bright and conspicuous." - Plutarch

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[Quote No.59931] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Not what we have, but what we enjoy [grateful that it is not worse], constitutes our abundance. " - Epicurus

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[Quote No.59951] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"The fool's life is empty of gratitude... " - Epicurus

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[Quote No.59954] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"When we [epicureans] say that pleasure is the end [ideal], we do not mean the pleasure of the profligate or that which depends on physical enjoyment -- as some think who do not understand our teachings, disagree with them, or give them an evil interpretation -- but by pleasure we mean the state wherein the body is free from pain and the mind from anxiety [consciously grateful that things are not worse]." - Epicurus

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[Quote No.60025] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Gratitude is the path to abundance. " - Saying

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[Quote No.60027] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"[Simplicity and minimalism:] The key to knowing joy is being easily pleased. [For example being pleased and grateful that things are not worse!]" - Mark Nepo

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[Quote No.60040] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"[Human nature has a negativity bias that must be overcome to be grateful and happy:] Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to [focusing on what could have been worse but wasn't rather than just what could have been better], he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it." - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
(1821-1881), Russian novelist and writer.
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[Quote No.60048] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Gratitude For When Things Do Work Well: Thing don't always work as we would want them to. Machines break down. People don't remember to do what they said they would. Stores run out of things, and sometimes they are closed when they were scheduled to be open. Letters we were supposed to receive aren't always delivered on time. Messages are not always given to us. The amount of things that don't work out the way they usually do is enormous. How will your emotional reaction be towards these types of occurrences? It's up to you. Some people choose to be frustrated and disappointed. They feel stress and distress. They lack a feeling of well-being. A master of gratitude will use all occurrences to gain greater mastery over gratitude. Each time something doesn't work out the way they would want it to, they remember to feel grateful for all the times that things do work out well. This pattern of thinking gives them feelings of happiness and joy. When a machine breaks down, they are happy for all the times when this and other machines do work. If someone doesn't remember to do what he said he would, they are grateful for all the times this person did remember. And they are grateful for other people remembering to do what they said they would. When stores run out of things, it's a reminder to be grateful for all the times this store and other stores had the things that you needed and wanted. A message not given is a reminder to be more careful to give over messages yourself, and to be grateful for all the messages that you did receive. A letter not received on time is a reminder to be grateful for all the letters you did receive on time. All the many things that don't work out the way they usually do, are reminders to be grateful for all multitude of things that do work out. A person who integrates this pattern will live a life of gratitude and happiness." - Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
Quote from his book, 'THANK YOU! Gratitude: Formulas, Stories, and Insights'.
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[Quote No.60049] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"A master of gratitude [and those who aspire to be a gratitude and happiness master] will use all occurrences [whether good or bad, positive or negative] to gain greater mastery over [imaginatively generating the feeling of] gratitude." - Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
Quote from his book, 'THANK YOU! Gratitude: Formulas, Stories, and Insights'.
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[Quote No.60078] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"We Never had it so Good: Every person alive today derives great benefit from comforts and pleasures that were not available in the past. All of the latest technological advances serve us to a remarkable degree. For all this we should be full of appreciation and gratitude. Today, take a few minutes and make a list of things available for your use today that did not exist a few hundred years ago (or even 20 years ago!). Notice how these things help you and make life easier and more comfortable." - Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
Quote from his book, 'Gateway to Happiness', p.44.
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[Quote No.60082] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"[Minimalism and voluntary simplicity:] The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy [and be grateful for] less [because it could always be worse and even less]. " - Socrates

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[Quote No.60181] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"There is no benefit so large that malignity [comparing it to something better] will not lessen it; none so narrow that a good interpretation [comparing it to something worse] will not enlarge it." - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
(4 B.C. - 65 A.D.) Roman stoic philosopher
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[Quote No.60183] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"I started to realize just how much our interpretation of reality changes our experience of that reality!" - Shawn Achor
'The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work'.
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[Quote No.60185] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"You have to train your brain to be positive [grateful] just like you work out your body." - Shawn Achor

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[Quote No.60186] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Spend two minutes a day scanning the world for three new things you're grateful for. And do that for 21 days, The reason why that's powerful is you're training your brain to scan the world in a new pattern, you're scanning for positives, instead of scanning for threats. It's the fastest way of teaching optimism." - Shawn Achor

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[Quote No.60194] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"[Are you failing to fully appreciate daily miracles?] Do you have eyes that see? You have the ability to appreciate the beauty of the sky, of greenery, of people’s faces, of water. Do you have ears that hear? You have the ability to appreciate music, the sound of rainfall, the laughter of friends. You have the ability to feel rough denim, cool breezes, grass on bare feet ... to smell fresh-cut grass, flowers, coffee ... to taste a plum, a chili pepper, chocolate. This is a miracle, and we take it for granted." - Leo Babauta

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[Quote No.60273] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Say thank you to everything and everyone, even to your grief and those who frustrate you." - Leo Babauta

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[Quote No.60291] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Objects of Appreciation:- Every time you go to use a utensil or instrument, take pleasure and feel gratitude for the fact that you have such an object available. If you focus on this, you'll be able to be lifted many many times each day. Some common examples include: a pen, fork, cup, key, computers, clock, chair, stapler, and eyeglasses." - Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
From his book, 'Gateway to Happiness', p.44.
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[Quote No.60327] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Choose Your Reaction: Facts themselves are neutral. You do not have emotional reactions to facts. Your emotional reaction is always based on your subjective evaluation of any situation. When you evaluate something as negative, awful, tragic, or a misfortune, you will feel sad, depressed, miserable, angry, or full of anxiety. When you think that something does not affect you in any way and are apathetic to it, you will feel neutral. When you evaluate something as good for you, you will react with happiness and joy. It takes practice and effort, but ultimately the choice is yours. Today, try reacting to one 'negative' thing with joy [for example by vividly imagining how it could have been worse but wasn't and so genuinely feeling relief and gratitude]." - Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
From his book, 'Gateway to Happiness', p.53.
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[Quote No.60380] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"The envious [those who compare themselves to those better off than themselves] die not once, but as oft as the envied win applause. [The grateful are people who have learnt that to be happy one should compare oneself to being in a worse situation rather than a better situation.]" - Baltasar Gracian

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[Quote No.60416] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"[Focus on the positive rather than the negative: Count your blessings rather than your complaints:] 'How Complaining Rewires Your Brain for Negativity!' - Research shows that most people complain once a minute during a typical conversation. Complaining is tempting because it feels good, but like many other things that are enjoyable - such as smoking or eating a pound of bacon for breakfast - complaining isn't good for you. Your brain loves efficiency and doesn't like to work any harder than it has to. When you repeat a behavior, such as complaining, your neurons branch out to each other to ease the flow of information. This makes it much easier to repeat that behavior in the future - so easy, in fact, that you might not even realize you're doing it. You can't blame your brain. Who’d want to build a temporary bridge every time you need to cross a river? It makes a lot more sense to construct a permanent bridge. So, your neurons grow closer together, and the connections between them become more permanent. Scientists like to describe this process as, 'Neurons that fire together, wire together.' Repeated complaining rewires your brain to make future complaining more likely. Over time, you find it's easier to be negative than to be positive, regardless of what's happening around you. Complaining becomes your default behavior, which changes how people perceive you. And here's the kicker: complaining damages other areas of your brain as well. Research from Stanford University has shown that complaining shrinks the hippocampus - an area of the brain that's critical to problem solving and intelligent thought. Damage to the hippocampus is scary, especially when you consider that it's one of the primary brain areas destroyed by Alzheimer's. Complaining Is Also Bad for Your Health: While it's not an exaggeration to say that complaining leads to brain damage, it doesn't stop there. When you complain, your body releases the stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol shifts you into fight-or-flight mode, directing oxygen, blood, and energy away from everything but the systems that are essential to immediate survival. One effect of cortisol, for example, is to raise your blood pressure and blood sugar so that you'll be prepared to either escape or defend yourself. All the extra cortisol released by frequent complaining impairs your immune system and makes you more susceptible to high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease, and obesity. It even makes the brain more vulnerable to strokes. It's Not Just You... Since human beings are inherently social, our brains naturally and unconsciously mimic the moods of those around us, particularly people we spend a great deal of time with. This process is called neuronal mirroring, and it's the basis for our ability to feel empathy. The flip side, however, is that it makes complaining a lot like smoking - you don't have to do it yourself to suffer the ill effects. You need to be cautious about spending time with people who complain about everything. Complainers want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves. Think of it this way: If a person were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke? You'd distance yourself, and you should do the same with complainers. The Solution to Complaining: There are two things you can do when you feel the need to complain. One is to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. That is, when you feel like complaining, shift your attention to something that you're grateful for. Taking time to contemplate what you're grateful for isn't merely the right thing to do; it reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23%. Research conducted at the University of California, Davis, found that people who worked daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude experienced improved mood and energy and substantially less anxiety due to lower cortisol levels. Any time you experience negative or pessimistic thoughts, use this as a cue to shift gears and to think about something positive. In time, a positive attitude will become a way of life. The second thing you can do - and only when you have something that is truly worth complaining about - is to engage in solution-oriented complaining. Think of it as complaining with a purpose. Solution-oriented complaining should do the following: -- Have a clear purpose. Before complaining, know what outcome you're looking for. If you can't identify a purpose, there's a good chance you just want to complain for its own sake, and that's the kind of complaining you should nip in the bud. -- Start with something positive. It may seem counterintuitive to start a complaint with a compliment, but starting with a positive helps keep the other person from getting defensive. For example, before launching into a complaint about poor customer service, you could say something like, 'I've been a customer for a very long time and have always been thrilled with your service...' -- Be specific. When you're complaining it's not a good time to dredge up every minor annoyance from the past 20 years. Just address the current situation and be as specific as possible. Instead of saying, 'Your employee was rude to me,' describe specifically what the employee did that seemed rude. -- End on a positive. If you end your complaint with, 'I'm never shopping here again,' the person who's listening has no motivation to act on your complaint. In that case, you're just venting, or complaining with no purpose other than to complain. Instead, restate your purpose, as well as your hope that the desired result can be achieved, for example, 'I'd like to work this out so that we can keep our business relationship intact.' Bringing It All Together: Just like smoking, drinking too much, and lying on the couch watching TV all day, complaining is bad for you. Put my advice to use, and you'll reap the physical, mental, and performance benefits that come with a positive frame of mind." - Travis Bradberry, Ph.D.
Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning coauthor of 'Emotional Intelligence 2.0' and the cofounder of TalentSmart® a provider of emotional intelligence tests and training serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. [http://www.talentsmart.com/articles/How-Complaining-Rewires-Your-Brain-for-Negativity-2147446676-p-1.html ]
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[Quote No.60417] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"The real neural antidepressant is gratitude. Gratitude boosts levels of serotonin and dopamine - the brain's happy chemicals and the same chemicals targeted by antidepressant medications. The striking thing about gratitude is that it can work even when things aren't going well for you. That's because you don't actually have to feel spontaneous gratitude in order to produce chemical changes in your brain; you just have to force yourself to think about something in your life that you appreciate. This train of thought activates your brain to make you feel happier." - Dr. Travis Bradberry
Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning coauthor of 'Emotional Intelligence 2.0' and the cofounder of TalentSmart® a provider of emotional intelligence tests and training serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. [http://www.talentsmart.com/articles/5-Things-That-Will-Make-You-Much-Happier-2147446662-p-1.html ]
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[Quote No.60441] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Happiness depends not on how well things are going but whether things are going better or worse than expected [or, more specifically, what you compare the outcome to. If it is better than what you compare it to then happiness and gratitude is felt. If it is worse than what you compare it to then unhappiness and bitterness is felt. Therefore the feeling any experience gives you depends on your ability to control whether it is compared to something worse - making you feel better - or compared to something better - making you feel worse!]" - Robb Rutledge
Author and neuroscientist. He was the senior research associate at University College London (UCL) who led the study, which came to this conclusion and published it in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. [https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ambigamy/201408/the-secret-happiness-and-compassion-low-expectations and http://www.today.com/tech/computer-algorithm-discovers-key-happiness-low-expectations-1D80018852 and http://www.pnas.org/content/111/33/12252.abstract ]
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[Quote No.60471] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"You can't be grateful and angry simultaneously." - Tony Robbins

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[Quote No.60510] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Don't set your mind on things you don't possess as if they were yours, but count the blessings you actually possess and think how much you would desire them if they weren't already yours. " - Marcus Aurelius
From his classic book 'Meditations'.
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[Quote No.60511] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Thinking about the absence of something positive in your life [so your life is now worse without that positive] produces more gratitude and happiness than imagining its presence. What would your life be like if you had not met your spouse? If you did not live in your current neighborhood? If you had not had that chance encounter with the stranger on the plane who later became a business associate?... By taking something away in our minds, we become more aware of benefits that we still have but previously took for granted. Mentally subtracting something good from your life [so you compare your life with a worse version of it] can make you more grateful for it. Think of an aspect of your life for which you feel grateful and then write about the ways in which this might never have happened (e.g., 'what would have happened if I had never met my wife?' as opposed to 'I am so grateful to have met my wife')." - Robert A. Emmons
Quote from his book, 'Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity'. [Refer also http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2010/02/how-to-make-yourself-happier-in-just-a-few-se/ ]
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[Quote No.60555] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Find the Silver Lining [to be grateful for]: When things don't work out the way you wish, always look for some positive outcome to the situation working out the way it did. For example, you can always be grateful that things didn't turn out even worse." - Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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[Quote No.60558] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"See yourself being a master of gratitude [because things are 'good' and 'not worse'] in the future. Mentally picture how this will help you feel joy the moment you are awake and are grateful for being alive. See how you can be grateful and happy for each breath. Realize that when you master gratitude, you will see a happy face every time you look into the mirror. See how your entire quality of life will be improved. See how other people will tell you that they enjoy being around you because you are such a happy person." - Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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[Quote No.60561] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"When a person looks through a colored lens, everything seems to be that color. If the lens is tinted yellow or blue, everything seems yellow or blue. A person who looks at life through the lens of gratitude will always find things to be grateful for." - Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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[Quote No.60574] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Gratitude: a humble word, yet powerful medicine. Gratitude offers an antidote to worry and negativity. The feeling of gratitude can instantly transform an anxious internal terrain to one of calm and hope. There were many nights while homeless that I lulled myself to sleep by counting things I was grateful for, rather than looking for disappointments. This fostered an outlook that allowed me to find the opportunity and good in each day. It's simple but has profound effects." - Jewel Kilcher
American singer-songwriter, guitarist, producer, actress, author, and poet. She has received four Grammy Award nominations and, as of 2008, has sold over 30 million albums worldwide. [Refer JewelNeverBroken.com ]
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[Quote No.60579] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"[Life is short but incredible. Wake up and enjoy the ride:] My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement [and gratitude]." - Joe Versus the Volcano - movie

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[Quote No.60670] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"What we notice is what resonates with our inner perspective [optimistic-positive-bright light-grateful not worse or pessimistic-negative-dark shadow-bitter not better]. We tend to overlook what does not connect with our current attitude or sense of awareness. When it comes to a tragic occurrence, do we focus on the horror stories or on the stories of courage and support? Both are available to us." - Gail Pursell Elliott

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[Quote No.60673] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Growth in wisdom [in the awareness and gratitude that things are not worse] may be exactly measured by decrease in bitterness [that things are not better]." - Friedrich Nietzsche

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[Quote No.60716] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"It's not how much we have, but how much we enjoy [and are grateful are not worse], that makes us happy." - Charles Spurgeon

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[Quote No.60724] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Is life so wretched? Isn't it rather your hands which are too small, your vision which is muddled? You are the one who must grow up [to deeply understand that regardless of your circumstances you should be relieved, grateful, happy that things are not worse rather than wretched, bitter, depressed things are not better]!" - Dag Hammarskjöld

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[Quote No.60801] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't [only] come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather [also] of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." - Frederick Keonig

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[Quote No.60856] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"To be grateful for all life's blessings. . . is the best condition for a happy life. A joke, a good meal, a fine spring day, a work of art, a human personality, a voice, a glance -- but this is not all. For there is another kind of gratitude. . . the feeling that makes us thankful for suffering, for the hard and heavy things of life, for the deepening of our natures which perhaps only suffering can bring." - Thomas Mann

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[Quote No.60871] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Learn how to be happy with [and grateful for] what you have while you pursue all you want." - Jim Rohn

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[Quote No.60879] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"It's not good for all of our wishes to be fulfilled. Through sickness, we recognize [appreciate and are grateful for] the value of health; through evil, the value of good; through hunger, the value of food; through exertion, the value of rest." - Greek Proverb

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[Quote No.60886] Need Area: Fun > Gratitude
"Another shrewdly resourceful Stoic mind-hack is what William B. Irvine – in his book 'A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy'­ (2009) – has given the name 'negative visualisation [comparison]'. By keeping the very worst that can happen in our heads constantly, the Stoics tell us, we immunise ourselves from the dangers of too much so-called 'positive thinking' ...Only by envisioning the bad [or 'what's worse?'] can we truly appreciate the good ['what have we got already?']; gratitude does not arrive when we take things for granted." - Lary Wallace
Features editor of the 'Bangkok Post: The Magazine'. [https://aeon.co/essays/why-stoicism-is-one-of-the-best-mind-hacks-ever-devised ]
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