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[Quote No.40016] Need Area: Friends > Children
"We find that even the parents who justify spanking to themselves are defensive and embarrassed about it....I suspect that deep in the memory of every parent are the feelings that had attended his own childhood spankings, the feelings of humiliation, of helplessness, of submission through fear. The parent who finds himself spanking his own child cannot dispel the ghosts of his own childhood. [One of the best ways that you can help a child who has transgressed, rather than physical punishment which sets a poor example for how they might treat others in the future - especially those that disappoint or disobey them, is to get them alone and comfortable and ask them to fully explain why they chose to do that, for your benefit, but more importantly for their own benefit, why that way was unacceptable - often by asking if they would want to live in a world where that was done to them and-or everyone behaved that way, and then explore ways they could have more acceptably met those needs. In this way you help them to gain insight into their own needs, the ability to express those needs, and ways to better handle those needs in more socially acceptable ways in the future.]" - Selma H. Fraiberg
U.S. child psychoanalyst. Quote from 'The Magic Years', ch. 8 (1959).
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